How to Talk to an Employee Who Seems to Be Struggling

An employee who is usually punctual has been arriving late for several weeks. Another, normally engaged, no longer speaks up in meetings. You sense that something is wrong, but one question holds you back: how do you bring it up without being clumsy or intrusive?

This hesitation is normal. Yet it often leads to putting off the conversation until the situation gets worse. Starting the conversation early, with tact, is one of the most useful things a manager can do.

In companies in Madagascar, where people often hesitate to share a difficulty with their superior, it is frequently up to the manager to take the first step.

Preparing the moment

Choose a discreet setting, away from others, and a time when neither you nor your employee is in a hurry. Avoid raising the subject in passing, in public, or right after a tense moment.

Before the conversation, write down for yourself the specific facts you have observed. These, not your impressions, will be the starting point.

A five-step method

• Start from facts: describe what you have noticed, without judgment or interpretation. For example: “I’ve noticed you’ve been less involved in meetings over the past few weeks.”
• State your intention: make clear you are asking because you care, not to assess or criticize.
• Ask an open question: “How are things going for you at the moment?” leaves the person free to answer as they wish.
• Listen without trying to fix: allow silences, reflect back what you hear, and accept that the person may not say everything.
• Refer and offer a follow-up: point to available resources, such as HR, the occupational physician, a support service or a healthcare professional, and offer to check in again later.

Phrases that help, phrases that shut down

Some phrases open the dialogue: “I’m here if you want to talk about it,” “What might help you right now?”, “You don’t have to tell me everything.”

Others, even well-meant, shut it down: “Everyone is stressed right now,” “You should step back a bit,” “Are you burning out?” They minimize, lecture or make a diagnosis, which is not the manager’s role.

Respecting everyone’s limits

The employee may not want to talk, and that is their right. What matters is that they know the door remains open. The manager, for their part, does not have to carry everything: if the situation seems serious, they should rely on the support channels in place within the organization, while respecting confidentiality.

Do your managers feel ready to have this kind of conversation, and do they know where to refer an employee who is struggling?

Preparing managers for difficult conversations

Irobii supports companies in Madagascar in training their managers: spotting the signs, starting the conversation the right way, and referring to the right people. The platform’s anonymized assessments also help them know where to focus their attention.

Train your managers for difficult conversations.